it’s a quiet day here. it’s been gray outside all day, but gray in a lovely, sleepy, peaceful way. lisa hannigan and damien rice softly sing in the background while the dog sleeps, the Christmas tree lights twinkle, and the votive candles silently flicker.
at the request of generous friends who’ve offered to make me meals after baby is born, i’ve been working for hours on an exhaustive list of allergy-safe foods. you know, those strange ingredients which are free of corn, dairy, and wheat/gluten. they DO exist. they’re just elusive. i’ll post the list here, in PDF form, after i’ve finished compiling it.
speaking of baby, she’s due four-and-a-half weeks from now. eeee! obviously, i know she could be earlier or later than that, but it was quite a reality check when my doctor informed me this week that baby has already dropped. and how do you answer the question, “are you ready for the baby?” i mean, the crib is set up. the changing table is stocked with diapers. the clothes are washed and folded. my tummy is more than ready to stop stretching. the freezer meals…ok, the freezer meals aren’t made. and the hospital bag is not packed.
but how do you answer that question? are we ready for the baby? everything, and nothing, prepares us for this moment. we are altogether entirely ready and entirely unprepared. we are entering the unknown for which we’ve longed and prayed. we do not know what faces us, and yet, we run madly into this moment. we run madly, with eyes open and with eyes closed, with open arms and with overflowing joyful hearts.
and hope shines on, every brightly.
the changing of the months always pulls at me
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