Tag: motherhood

Poetry & Words

WRITING & WORDS :: Inside, we turn up the music.

Gina @ Oaxacaborn


I’ve been in a bit of creative slump, lately. Her nap times come and go, and the silhouettes of half-made fabric dolls stay untouched on the wooden dining table near the windows. Bits of felt and embroidery thread remain stashed in the basket, sketches with new ideas remain taped to the wall, and fabric remains uncut.

And these pages haven’t been so filled with words, not so very many words at all, because words seem just kind of flattened out and tired, these days. Nothing magical really comes from my pen.

Even us, well, we stay in the house. The thick and sticky air hugs the house and warms it beyond comfort, and clings to us when we step outside. It’s heavy, it pulls us downward and pours its moisture into us and we tire of it so quickly. There is no wind.

Inside, we turn up the music, we make forts out of pillows and sheets, we cut everything into bite size pieces, we rinse and repeat. And we drink tea.

Lots, and lots of tea.

And you know what? It’s the best, most delicious, invisible imaginary tea I’ve ever had.

Poetry & Words

WRITING & WORDS :: I don’t have to be able to see clearly for it to be beautiful

Gina @ Oaxacaborn

She was desperate to look outside. She pulled at the shades, tangled herself in the curtains, and whined, impatiently dancing on her tiptoes.

I understood. I understand.

I swept the curtains aside and tied the gauzy fabric into a loose knot. Tugging the braided cord downward, we watched as the slats slid upward, pouring sunshine over us.

She was instantly silent, instantly still.

She rested her fingertips on the wooden sill, the wooden sill which has seen more tenants than just us. It’s buried in coat after coat of sticky white paint, and not all of them had been evenly applied. She doesn’t notice this.
Toddler looking out of apartment window - Black and white photo via Oaxacaborn dot comShe is still, transfixed, mesmerized by what’s beyond those two panes of glass.

For a moment I feel sorry for her. She looks at the grass and barely knows it beyond something that’s labeled “Keep Off”, “Pesticides Applied mm/dd/yy”, “Clean up After Your Pet”.

But this does not trouble her. She is quiet and calm, lost in her own little world of thoughts.

In this moment, I feel that her world is much deeper than I can begin to imagine.

She places her small hand on my arm, and my precarious camera-toting, nearly-kneeling balance is lost. She pats my arm reassuringly, and looks up at me from her squatting position.

I click the camera button, and glance at the screen.Toddler in Black and White - via Oaxacaborn dot comYou can’t really see her face clearly.

And then it hits me. That’s ok. I don’t have to be able to see clearly for it to be beautiful. I don’t have to have a perfect exposure, a perfect view.

I just have to be here — here in this quiet moment, kneeling in front of the low window with my daughter, quietly watching the trees and the sky, washed in His redemptive Grace and Peace. Here in gratitude, here in thankfulness, here in the kind of perfection that I can’t create, but can receive, with arms open wide and eyes fixed on my  great and wonderful God.

My arms of full of blessings; my heart is full of peace.

“So, my very dear friends, don’t get thrown off course. Every desirable and beneficial gift comes out of heaven. The gifts are rivers of light cascading down from the Father of Light. There is nothing deceitful in God, nothing two-faced, nothing fickle. He brought us to life using the true Word, showing us off as the crown of all his creatures. … In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life.” -James 1:17+, the Message version

Life in Photos, Poetry & Words

WRITING & WORDS :: I’d like to rest my heavy head tonight / On a bed of California stars

Gina @ Oaxacaborn

Having a snack at sea world in May 2012

I’m tired. I’d like to rest my heavy head tonight on a bed of California stars. But around here, lately, when we’re awake and not falling asleep standing up, we’ve been…

…taking advantage of our Sea World passes.

Aveline and Josiah at Sea World

Aveline reading the Sea World map upsidedown

I’ve also been…

…blogging for Babiekins.
—Summer Style: 6 Must-Have Items for Boys
—Get the Look: When I was Young in the Mountains
—Get the Look: Inspired by ‘Waiting for Mama’
—Spring and High Summer: Noa Noa
—Get the Look: When Stella was Very Very Small

…fetching food from grocery stores, getting said food home amidst the rainy season downpours whilst attempting to maintain the toddler’s sanity as well as my own.

…somehow managing to cook food into edible, if not somewhat burnt, things. (Rinse and repeat.)

Aveline eating burnt toast

…running around in the sweltering humidity to take photos of Aveline (think of it as hot yoga + aerobics). She is a Mini Socialite at Mudpies & Fairytales this week!

…celebrating the launch of Missile Monkey, an iOS game/app designed and produced by Josiah and his dad (the excitement around here has been crazy! This is the culmination of more than a year and half’s worth of work! If you’ve already downloaded it, we’d love it if you’d rate it as well.)

Banner to celebrate the release of Missile MOnkey iOS indie game

…scheduling posts for Summer Vacation Tour, the virtual travel series which will launch here later this month. Paris, London & more!

…fixing a bridesmaid dress fiasco, in which a dress ordered months upon months ago never arrived.

…serving as a loungy-type piece of furniture for a certain small person. (You can find the sewing tutorial for her toddler harem shorts here.)

Aveline lounging on me

…not sleeping, courtesy of the same certain small person.

…rewashing clean laundry, again due to the same small person.

…supervising the multiple baths needed per day to keep small person acceptably tidy.

Now, if you’ll pardon me as I fall asleep to this beautiful song (a Wilco cover of a Willie Nelson number).

Poetry & Words

WRITING & WORDS :: Do not put that potato chip in the outlet, and other toddler tales.

Gina @ Oaxacaborn

Aveline pokes the imperfections in the sidewalk as she walks. Every.single.one.

Well, walks are really more like runs. Runs-and-pokes. So, the more accurate way to say it is that she sprints, screeches to halt, and spins around at lightning speed to inspect the little pokable hole.

All this happens with a lot of squealing, and a steady stream of Aveline-words, many of which start with “z” and sound very French.

Aveline poking at a hole in the sidewalk - Toddler wearing handmade feather headdress with brown feathers and triangles

After a rain, it’s even more exciting. There are dozens of dime-sized (and smaller!) dimples in the sidewalk, each filled with warm rainwater, each just the right size for a one-year-old index finger.

Walks take a long, long time.

Aveline pointing to a crack in the sidewalk

I like this growing-up thing that she’s doing. I like it a lot. I can make her a sunbutter and jelly sandwich, cut it in half, and hand it to her. She can eat goldfish–well, goldsharks–while we run errands. And when I change her clothes, she stands up and holds on to my arms, points her tiny toes, and tries to stick her feet into the leg of her pants. They usually end up in the wrong leg, but still. She tries.

These are good, growing-up changes.

Even when she tries to put a potato chip in the outlet.

Even when she suspects we are about to leave the house, and frantically empties two whole dresser drawers in search of her shoes.

Even when she licks the sidewalk.

Even when she, concerned about the state of her diaper, yells “dirty, dirty, dirty” loudly in the grocery store.

(The other words in) her little vocabulary delight me. Dance. Songs! Socks. Seeee?? Puppy. Seeeeeee? Poppity. See?

And every time she says “seeee?” in her girlish voice, I get a little peek of what the the world looks like through her eyes.

She’s helping me experience childhood again. She’s helping me see that there is something to squeal about in ant-sized puddles, in the extra jelly on the side of her sandwich, in the way the wind lifts up and tosses back her hair.

Thank you Lord, for helping me to see your beautiful world like a child again.

Cloth Diapers, Poetry & Words

How I Quit Cloth Diapering (and Faced the Mama Mafia)

Gina @ Oaxacaborn

The cost of using cloth diapers vs the cost of using disposable diapers I quit cloth diapering.

There, I said it. The cat’s out of the bag.

Actually, I quit at the end of January. I’ve kept it a secret all this time. I’ve been careful not to talk about it. I’ve been careful not to post any photos of Aveline in which she’s obviously wearing a disposable.

Why did I hide it? Because I was afraid of the backlash. I was afraid of the Mama Mafia.

The Mama Mafia is brutal.

But this week, I made another decision. I decided I’m not going to be intimidated, nor am I going to make excuses. I’m going to be honest. Because truthfully? Cloth diapers are gross.

Before you stick your hand through your computer screen to grab me by the throat, let me say that again. Cloth diapers are gross. They just are. It’s a fact you can’t really argue with. You can downplay it and talk yourself through it in order to save money, but you can’t deny it.

I reached a point, nearly a year in to cloth diapering, when I asked myself, “Ok, how much money am I actually saving?”

And so The Great Disposable Experiment began. At the end of the trial period, here’s what I learned.

The Cost of Cloth Diapers vs. The Cost of Disposables

  • It cost approximately $5.63/week ($22.50/month) on electricity, water/sewer, and detergent to use cloth diapers.
  • It cost approximately $6.25/week ($25.00/month) to use disposable diapers.

And that’s not even counting the hundreds of dollars I spent purchasing (used, not new) cloth diapers.

A savings of $2.50/month? I quit cloth diapering.

Fellow mamas, let’s be brave. Let’s be free. I’m done hiding behind the mask of fear. My baby wears disposables. Now you know.

And you know what? I’m ok with that!

Guest Blog, Poetry & Words

WRITING & WORDS :: This Early Light [my guest post on the Grace-Filled Blog]

Gina @ Oaxacaborn

I’m guest blogging on the Grace-Filled Blog today, while Erin takes some time off with her family to welcome her new baby boy. Congratulations!

Top of baby head in sunshine

“…The coffee has begun to mix with the air. She turns to run away, and the sun falls through the smudged windowpane and dances across the back of her head…” [continue reading]

Comments closed here so you can leave them directly on the post instead.

Poetry & Words

WRITING & WORDS :: O Thou who art my quietness, my deep repose…

Gina @ Oaxacaborn

Some days, a migraine and crawling-out-of-your-skin sensation tells you that there was undisclosed corn* in that chocolate you ate the night before.

*one of my many allergies

Some days, your beloved iMac starts making rumbly sicky noises.

Some days, you cry on the phone to your best friend.

Some days, you never write even the first word of that post you already should have submitted.

Some days, your daughter is a crabby pants.

Some days, by the time you manage to get outside to soak in your fifteen minutes of vitamin D, the sun is already sinking behind the rooftops.

But —

O Thou who art my quietness, my deep repose,
My rest from strife of tongues, my holy hill,
Fair is Thy pavilion, where I hold me still.
Back let them fall from me, my clamorous foes,
Confusions multiplied;
From crowding things of sense I flee, and Thee I hide.
Until this tyranny be overpast,
Thy hand will hold me fast;
What though the tumult of the storm increase,
Grant to Thy servant strength, O Lord, and bless with peace.
-Amy Carmichael

Poetry & Words

WRITING & WORDS :: Guest Post on The Organic Bird Blog – On Contentment, and Living in the Moment

Gina @ Oaxacaborn

Do you all read The Organic Bird? Andrea Levendusky’s treasure trove of poignant, honest writing has quickly become one of my favorite places on the web. It’s truly worth adding to your reading list.

I’ve been so blessed getting to know Andrea through Facebook and Twitter over the last few months, and was thrilled when she asked me to pen a guest post. So, you can find me on The Organic Bird today, talking a little about the ways God is using my daughter to teach me about being content.

Thank you, Andrea!

Oaxacaborn - Guest Post on The Organic BIrd Blog - Motherhood

“I’m staring. It’s that time of the afternoon where all I want is another cup of coffee, but Aveline’s bedroom is right off the kitchen. She’s the world’s lightest sleeper; if I even think about that cup of coffee too loudly, I know she’ll hear me & wake up.

There is a pot of white beans simmering on the stove. I’ll add some sage and garlic in a bit. I’m not sure why I bought white beans. I nearly always cook black beans — black beans with onion, garlic, lime, jalapeño, and cilantro. Once upon a time, when I lived in my beautiful California, I added epazote, too. It grew wild around my front step.

But here, here in the land of my sojourn….” [continue reading my guest post on The Organic Bird blog]

//Comments are disabled here, so you can leave them on Andrea’s blog. :-)//