i needed chocolate chip cookies today.
we didn’t have any chips, but i did have a stack of 100% dark chocolate bars in the cupboard. (don’t judge. when it comes to sweets, i am allergic to pretty much everything except the raw-vegan fruit-nut bars, so i get 100% cacao dark chocolate bars for gifts. for every holiday. from everyone.) i reached to the bottom of the stack, counting backwards from easter…valentine’s day, birthday, christmas. yes, christmas. that would be the oldest one.
i held the chocolate bar hard, pressing my fingers down through the foil, letting my finger tips feel the outline of the words ghirardelli on every square, letting my fingers trace the outline of the ridges between each rectangle of bitterness.
then i reached for the rolling pin.
(well, then i also moved my phone away from the chocolate).
and i went to town on that bar of chocolate. rainy day, you’ve got nothing on me. waiting game, you’ve got nothing on me. chocolate bar, you’ve met your match.
josiah scurried out of the kitchen, and from the next room I could hear the clicking of the aging keyboard. are you facebooking about me?!, i yelled, still whacking the chocolate into chips.
maybe this is why they say chocolate chip cookies are good for stress! i hollered. josiah, back in the kitchen by now, looked at me sideways. oh, i said, setting down the rolling pin. i guess it has to do with the…chocolate. and the cookies that are wrapped around them. and the glass of milk. and the fireplace….or chick flick…i can stare at while i eat them.
i was looking at the chocolate bar again. i picked it up, and it flopped, flimsy. it’s perfect, i laughed, oddly delighted as i tore open the gold foil over the bowl of cookie dough, letting the irregular pieces of crushed chocolate pour out into the pale dough.
i stirred them in with a wooden spoon, and josiah reached over to sample the dough.
babe, it tastes like cookies! he licked his finger, not really hiding the surprise in his voice. after all, why would an amalgamation of olive oil and maple syrup and almond flour come out tasting anything like cookie dough?
i pressed the crumbly mess into cookie-shapes, then closed them into the tiny, windowless oven. josiah found the i-pod, and i set the timer.
i burned my finger when i checked to see if they were done, but that’s mostly because i just poked my index finger blindly into a jagged, molten triangle of 100% cacao lava.
these cookies are just a little bit like me: making up things by unconventional means. and then just charging into the fire, poking excitedly at what’s happening next. and you know? it’s pretty much exactly the best way to live.
Image Credit: Animi Causa